ran like a pussy

Ran like a pussy

Let see 40 hours per week time 51 weeks ayear times 15 years then break that inot minutes because this an honestly all evnts like it realy happen blossom in a matter of 1 minute 1 thought , 1 choice … that would mean it would reflect 2 minutes out of .. 1 million , 8 hundre thousand , 63 thousand more plus some …. Wow . why would I keep up any FIGHTING SKILLS or practice for and evnt that reflects litterlay a 1 in a million event ……. I gues I realized this way back in early twenties .. if I were to add on to my work hours since todays ATRRACTION happened during work (very strange) but I were to add on the rest of my life for the last 15 years all the ozzfests all the festivals warp tours all the life …. It would end up being even much less that a 1 in a million event

But what is most important ,, is the ATTRRACTION … why did I attract this my friend I DID NOT meet … yet interacted with … what was he …EVIDENCE of in my attraction of events …

Ohh wha the fuck am I rambling about now …. ?i almost got into a fight with some cocky young redneck punk …. ( honeslty at a meta level he is my very dear helpful friend he is the mirror showing me my own shit ) I RAMMED MY STICK UP UNDRE HIS RIB CAGE DURING MY BACK SWING WHILE WASHING WINDOWS TODAY …. 15 years I never made contact with any one in fact during my firt month some guy caught my stick before it hit him and said WISE words ,, hey buddy you better Watch your back blast area ( ex army I bet )

And fro then I did and have ,, and even with this young man I had to about 6 times before he finnaly got himself in postion at the right time to get hit my me …. You coud just telll my young friend was ITCHING for a fight , it was all over his presence ,, his walk his talke his face his tattoos …. He was wating for a pizza and had the whole world to hang out in but GRAVITATED to being right up my ASS … unitl finnaly he got the REASON to fly off the handle at what he thought would be an easy target ?

Wow what happens in the seconds just becomes a blur ,, but I apoliged of course I hit some one ,,then eh went NUKE and I bailed ….. the restaurant personel came out … after he went in I colleted my bucket .. and deicided to work else where and finish thei plaza later in the day .

Hmmm at first I was BLAMING HIM ….. but something kept coming into my head about my OWN ANGER … my own feeling of BEING STUCK ? I kept feeling this feeling or thought about LACK OF COMMITMENT …. It was tyed to the HATE of yesterday ,, HATE IS GOOD .. it is the power to make a CHOICE one way or another ,,to COMMIT finnaly to course of action to dicide to move on and up ….. and the more I thought about that and the less I blamed him .. the more I FELT RLEIF that WEIGHT being lifted that means I have moved up the Scale http://www.instinctualism.org/5steps.html .... i had attractedd him like I have attracted everything else I have lived and am living ..each a mirror each a BLESSED event a contrast ..to choose from the BETTER feeling choice ….
Now aht was my frined feeling ? I remember bing him during my day and age .. he did not know what he was feeling … just that he had a case of the ass .. maybe thought he was smart enough to not pick a figth in bar where he might end up meeting him match plus 4 ….. so he expressed in on the street hmm maybe ? whose to KNOW for I can not create in an other HEAD in another reality ,,, what is REALLY GOING ON I can never know fuck I have a hard enough time READING MYSELF …

Normally if I have block it will show in in a body ache ,,, that when I focus on another thought the ache disappears ..soon I find that certain pains in my body are tied to certain stresses or themes …. But ATTRACTIONs like the FAILING OF THE CONTRACT on the house ,,, what id it do ,, how I did create it? If my iten MY commited state is to sell ? well I admitted to FEELNG overwhelmed with family related =sadness ,,the NICE HUMAN THE seeker of smiles the male who likes to see his family smile that is why he goes to work 5 to 6 days a week rain r shine ….

This 1 in a million event ….. I brought on …. He was enough up my ass … for minutes that I could have stopped and asked him to let me finish up …. But for yeasrt I have never had any one ver .. hang around me while I was working everyone is generally nice polite noticing that I am a working man and we meet of minds and purpose I let them pass or they go out of their way to let me work … a 1 in 1,000,000 …. To show me ,,that I am STUCK in some sort of ..COMMITMENT delema …. For just bringing up that topic as it relates to that event makes me feel again the weight lifting off my shoulders …. Hmm but what and how more can I commit? What more has to be expressed …. And how doe it relate to me being NICE to important people in my life ?

If you are not true to you ..then you got a hidden case of the ass BUILDING UP … and everyone around you will some day suffer when you ASS explodes and the shit flys out making everything and everyone smell like you SHIT ….. I got a something like that building and has to do with ,, EXPRESSING EVEN MORE GRAPHICALLY my commitment to leaving to building my ideas ….. for when I think about my next step business paln ..to put DESTINY back in my hands even while the house is still on the market ( advertise advertise http://www.clarkhodges.net/Jensen_Beach/Florida/Homes/St_Lucie_County/Agent/Listing_1704043.html ) the benefits of working a couple of the cash cows now … it just seems .. it just feels like a weight is being lifte ,,, release RELIF …. So that would mean like floating up the scale … hmmm …… interesting …. I do create it all .