Tuesday, July 31, 2007

rub my face into a furry pussy

Rub my face into a furry

Ohh young master I think there is no better way to go to sleep to return from work to wake up or just generally relax and enjoy life than to enjoy the reactions of a person a human who you happen to like a lot ………….. love …. Friendship … so much is put into the relationship aspect is all about commuciating something you need to do with anyone ,,, another male , you boss , parensts ,,, but when it comes to you girl , then the sexual tension that Fflood OF TESTOERONE COMES into play …. And it wipes your mind clean ,,,, fuck or fight testosrone gets you prepped for either one of those activities ,, a drug courses thru your body without your control … prepping when ever you are in your girls presence , so many things are written about love friendship , life and almost all of the writers forget totally about our inner beast . our DNA aspects .

They forget that the smell of PUSSY triggers a flood of chemicals in my body I am skin and bones … I am animal ….. and her sounds of pleasure the changes of breathing from licking her clit to biting her inner thigh ( slowly increasing the pressures so I get a controlled reactions , taking a bigg enough mouth full to avoid a pinch , yet not biting in deep that would grab a tendon , some soft muscle is OK ) ohhh back to sounds and their reaction in you …. You react to sounds words are only sounds and think about how you react to certain words well you react to sounds also , to her breathing and of course to her squirms ………

Learning about the mentall aspects of life is OK cool great important …. But remembering the DYNAMICS of the BEAST is also very very important , the yin and yang … in so many things , micro and macro that smell of pussy in her hair the tension of her anticipation to the next lick across her clit ,, the stress of the pain of a good solid bite , the dip of your tongue into her hole ….. that Frsgrence that drug …… and of course the hardening of your dick in advance of the fucking you will give her when she is OOOOHHHH SOOOO sensitve that I may then truly enjoy her squirms sounds and beggs … as I enjoy myself and she tolerates accepts and is forced to feel ….. pulling her back as she trys to escape when I change up postions , so I can get some more OHHH MY GODS FOR A Few more minutes . changing up so my dick can calm down for 30 seconds let the sperm recede back into my testicles so I can enjoy banging her with a firmness again ….. without feel of shooting my load …. Like cumming over and over our multi orgasisn dipshit I have written so many times about playing stop .

Now that is real human , animal , beast recreation ….. not watching boxing and nascar . like I have over the last weekend at a NORMAL friends house while I was shopping for a new post card to live on ….. having the waterfront home on the market now looking for a Blue rigde mountain postcard to live on .. life is good dumbfuck just open your eyes .

Friday, July 27, 2007

it was her

It was her

FAULT she was the bitch ,,,,, then why did you fall in love with her ,, you are a sorry judge of character ,,,, NO young Master you admit that you loved her and for 6 months everything was great and it slowly fell apart and no matter how much you FOUGHT ( no matter how many tables you broke in half with your fist in anger and rage … ) nothing changed ….. and I say over and over to you dumbass look DEEPER than your current anger and learn about the possibility of the DYNMICS at work in the 1 on 1 ….. GOD DAM I hate talking to you people sometimes ,,, you make me mad , but I also remember myself like him in anger blaming my EX ( s ) …. Until I remembered she was my friend , I once loved her and wanted her to be happy ,, why was I being greedy now that she was not with me that she should live unhappy … is that love ? can a person who hates have ever really loved his girlfriend ever or was that young master ,,, just greedy a form of the GREED OF ADAM 1 , 1, 1, control own , mine mine mine …..

Ever want some one to want you …. Like you do them .. with the END OF THE WORLD want ? like they would be crushed if the relationship broke up?HOW FUCKING CRUEL ARE WE? TO WANT THE ….. BEST FRIEND … we have had to .. to .. want them to hurt instead of seeing that they are moving on and wishing them …. That best friend of your some fucking joy …. HOW CAN YOU HONSTLY TALK about love yet want that person to hurt ,,, YO dumbfuck now if you choose to hurt Ok that is your world , your choices ,, but wishing that pain on another … especially another who you clain was , atleast once way back when .. thye were your friend , in fact more important than friend your LOVE ? and this is the FAIRY TALE love … the happy ever after the 1 on 1 ….. the greed ..

Now dipshit , I got another beef with you … young mother fucker , that is with your fucking resposniblities ,,, two kids and two dogs …. What is more fucking important dumbass you ain’t got a pot to piss in .. nor a window to throw it out of you ,, are in NO shape to care for fucking animals …. Especially when you ain’t paying your own way or the way of your children …nope nope nope ……… let the fucking dogs go and maybe you will learn responsibility and not let yourself get that far down and helpless …. You will keep atleast some self determination with you money and life and not lose the puppies , yes the puppies are kids … but they are only puppies when you compare them to the REAL children you REALLY DO HAVE …. It is time to grow up and think …. Dealing with males is so fucking hard they have been so fucking programmed … so conditioned to see only one way of living .. that my ideas without the push of a female in his life I fear this male with not have the guts to ever … act outside the box .. he will always judge his actions based on the reactions of the female .. mever letting himself to move on ,, with honor .

Young master , how many more girls are you going to love ,, 9 I MEAN HATE 0 since in reality you end up in a hate relationship with your EX’s the fairy tales end in broken tables yelling and screaming how much longer will you let it go on how many more girls?

What if the next fight you just say ,,, NO , no more fighting there must be something different. And guess what is is hard ,, FIGHTING IS HARD is it not? Yes the fights are hard confusing .. no one ever wins . how ablut something really different . but will the girl accept it ,,WILL SHE EMBRACE IT , yes and no but that is not your responsibility you love her you do not want to hurt your best friend anymore so you choose another an ALTERNATIVE , relationship form .

Now the poly amourus …. The idea of 3 wives .. the poly anourus is built on the idea of bi sexuality ,,, the need for girls to find others girls attractive ,,, the feeling I have is apprehensive in that it brings in another chance for the greed of EVE ? … the basic plan I call for is the respect for a good ADAM 3 women seeing in one male so much good they choose to be his wife….. they see and truethfully feel in themselves that he is a MASTER in their own private eyes and in that inner vision and choice they choose to form a sisiterhood to insure his wellbeing and hence their own ….

Yes their own in the wellbeing of him ,,,, him their friend ,, since girls have you ever really been albe to be friends with your best friend? ( well atleast for very long or until after wht pain of all the fitghts HEAL )

But I , like you young master want the happiness of the females you know that old engrained habit … that you hate to lose the greed of adam ….. yu working to see them smile … so I wonder about the bisexuality component of poly amourus …. The underlieing real feelings in them why the need ? is not the happiness of 1 man enough to motivate a female ? friendship what does that really mean . and I know how my breeding habits the HAREM AHBITS of many animals is normal but we ,, we humans have let ourselves ignore our DNA roots .. has it really brought us happiness ….?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

A basket of kittens

A basket of kittens

Ok ao I am seeing im my head a basket of kittens all curled up sleepy and comfy ….. see my Deb loves my fuck but she is missing something .. wht? She is missing making love .. a tenderness she says I do not have ,,, when I see and taste female that animal shows itself ….. and I want mwhat my DNA male loves to hear the response of a female ……

For my 1 she could use that tenderness of other females to cuddle with in fact she tried a few months ago to suggest we go toward a poly route but … my inner filter and honestly inside her neither of us had come to appoint of real understanding that we were going slowly down the road to RUIN once more in our 1 on1 relationship it took having to be again what most men become ,,, passive aggressive finally getting to a point of finally …. And then madness …

The basket of kittens , she sees a community bed where she and her friends lay and I also a LONE male lay with them ,, them in their friendship and commitmtnet to exploring this ALTERNATIVE idea finally my hopefully find the SEX and fREINDSHIP that all other relationship honestly lacked ……….

It is your own visions that your world young master will start to come into form . without some real ideas some real feed backs all you have is the fanasty of jacking off that you create ,..and these are only the reality of the filter of a horny male brain …. They lack the reality feelings you will have for the 1 on 1 and then the understanding of the feelings of a 1 on 3 …..

When young you fucked for your own pleasure you had not learned to MAKE LOVE …. I had once some what learned to make love but by doing that I suppressed that BDSM like animal that I honestly was …. And I am an animal during sex ,, I like to be that animal who loves to see and hear and smell a woman cummm to the point of EXHAUSTION … that completes me , but after I am done I have no tenderness well not the tenderness a woman needs , yet our little 2 on 1 exposaure showed us the nice part of having another woman around for the after glow I could let my animal subside in a natural way and she got some comfort after my fucking ……

A basket of kittens each friends with each other each with the ommmitment to the ideal each wishing for the other like good friends do , that each finds some sort of bliss happiness …… with us the whole family or alone all we want is the others to find happiness … like I with Debbvie , with or with out me ,, my friendship for my real deep concern for her is PARAMOUNT ,, happy with me or in a new path all I really care about is her happiness ………

DIPSHIT that is really LOVE ….. the expressions of DNA . sex .. that is animal recreation sorry it is not LOVE ! BUT IT IS THE TRAPP THE FAIRY TALE GOT US TO BELIEVE IS LOVE ,, THE TWISTED IDEALLS OF PROGRAMING OF CONFUSION DRIVIEN INTO THIS CULTURE INTO THE MIND OF EACH AND EVERY PERSON .. WHICH INFACT KEEPS YOU UNHAAPY DEPRESSED CONFUSED ,,, AND EASY TO CONTROL .. A POPULATION WHOSE HAS IN FACT ON AVERAGE AND UNSTALBE HOME LIFE IS SO OVER WROUGHT THAT CAN NOT TRULY keep theie attention on the Governement

The basket of kittens supports her each and every girl .. and it gives you the chance to have more than 1 girl to interact with the chance to talk about feelings with other adult concerned friends …..OH YESS AND FUCK THOSE FRIENDS like the animal you truthfully are …

Monday, July 23, 2007

friendship fuck

Friendship fuck

Young amster I was thinking and I think I think that the 3 tents and your approach to dating etc should actually be be really …..basde in FRIENdSHIP …… who was it Will Rodgers or mark twian who said A stranger is a friend I have not met yet ”

Dipshit , think about bait that stuff you own that you feel is so fucking important , that shit that gives you your ego boost that makes you the man you are ,,, well for mowt humans in the west … they really do depend on bait while doing a mating dance .. while dating …. For you dumbass it may be your truck or car first and foremaot there si something about it which gives you and ego boost and defines you !

Now girls they got bait also it is the package in which the cherry came in …… heard the old joke … I may have lost my cherry but I still got the package that it came in ……. And it is that package shich puts you into an altered state , when you think about doing the regular BEGGING for a date …… but in reality dumbass think back now , when you woke up she did not look very much like the bait you fell for now did she ,,, in fact she may actually look better more natural more instinctual … but that bait had been etched into brain thru strong emeotions and chemical reactions so that for ever you will always see her thru that filter of her best picture or your first meeting or whenever you went DAM THAT GURL IS CUTE .

So in fact the package is really not that important to your dick because when your dick is ini her mouth , your dick does not feel her make up it has actuall nothing to do with shit . when it comes to enjoy the real relaxation recreation that you as a female or a male were designed to enjoy ,,,,, and whati if her package ,, her bait changes what then do you just dump your friend because of the package ….. the body the skin deep will change .

So dipshit approaching dating is all about friendship and in reality then the poly the 3 tents is also all about friendships … with a big S in multilple friendships ……

CAN”T LIVE WITHOUT …. Wow what a terrible way to live to be the person who needs to hear that or to be the person who says that ……. What a fucking bummer yet the fairy tale seems to built on that type of lie ane pervesion , and control ….. can’t live without is all about controlling ….. can you see that dipshit ?

So the building of sexual friendship where you being the present male are the pleasure toy , and and and ,, you have proven you worth your maleness is fulfilled also by providing for your females the 3 tents and camel …… but what about their own goals and carreers their desire to be rich ….. to be a star , to be alone in the spotlight of life becoming wealthy … above other people powerful thur their ability to make money ,,, you know what dumbass … if that is allowed the end is near … now if … if .. CHOICE FREEDOM of choice always choice ….. she can follow or leave …… all incomes even child support in thrown into together and then divided equally noe if one girl does not do her share and the sister can not help motivate her …… and that one is dragging the whole family tribe down ,,, you gotta teel her to find another world because you are changing your starting with her …… but think will not girls be upset with the idea of sharing their money …. IT IS MINE , IT IS MINE , I can think I will hear ….. YO dipshit guess what that is a girl you do not want ,, hand out ten more cards …. Meet some new friends ……. Simple ,,,, not every girl will be right and the wrong ones will be wrong .

Sunday, July 22, 2007

she is watching me fuck another

She is watching me fuck another

Ok so I think my girl is understanding thru experience my words to the level that she agrees with my concepts to a point that she wants again to try that …… since the 1 on 1 did not work , there must be other choices yet in the truth is the fact it will always be a choice of everyone who trys , who experiences it to feel the rights and wrongs for themselves and ompare that and those to the relationship of their pasts , and I hope they will also chronicle their honest feelings so that you reader yes you dumbshit young master may have a bennifit …. I can control no one in fact I do not want to control ,,

I see the position of having 3 wives as a place where actually I control very little the girls really control the day to day , I set up some EQUALIZING rules . TO HELP KEEP PEACE TO HOPEFULLY avoid the human Greed ….. the n the girls who CHOOSE , their freedom of choice to enter into this relationship form ,,, those gilrs , work out certain issues and feelings and problems they all WILL HAVE , yes there will be problems they work out those feelings honestly and openly among themselves and YES , intereact with me , tell me what is happening ,b ecause I want them to be happy all of them ……….

What didi the cave man like what would keep a LONE MALE , a self sufficient male cave man coming back to a cave , abunch of bitching fighting women … or smiles and ahppiness , remember a man like myself , who has built his life from scratch a few times relys on one …. This cave man can walk away from his tribe his cave any day ,, and re build an other cave ….. BIG DEAL no real problem so even the cave man of old depened on the females to create a level of peace and happiness at home that was somewhere he the cave man wanted to return to …. REMEMBER the cave man would give his life in protection of those females so HONESTLY HURTING A FEMALE is v ery very very very very very UNNATURAL

Why does it happen so often now? Wife beating ,, frustration and confusion …simpley not respecting our deepest inner animal self .

SO I WANT TO HAVE 3 GIRLS WHO BY CHOICE ARE , deeply motivavted to become the closest and deepest of friends with each ,,, their desire for the peace of their life depends on the peace of the total sisiterhood ….I HAVE NO REAL POWER THERE .. all you dipshit do is provide the 3 tents and a camel …. The things our CAVE MAN fore father didi ,,, that truth that is written in your DNA from 3.3 millions of it happeneing and happening to a point that NATURAL SELECTIONS , wrote in inot you DNA make up like the lion has its harem , the bull seal . the bull , the deer ….. or the bird creates what is natural for itself …… in our DNA is a truth …… you like being provider , working and comeing home to peace ………. Girls are social ………..like every song and movie brainwashes you young master I guess ineed to repeat and repeat ideas and concepts to help you think outside your box , OF FEAR ~

SO TODAY I THINK I MAYBE HAVING TO THINK ABOUT how TO RE CREATE MY FAMILY while I work on selling my home and build my three tentrs … I want my three tents to be an expression of me , and then to have the women create their world within that ….. not to allow ….. my girl of now to make it hers and I live in her world … which is so easy to do .. no I must create the BRAODER concepts of the 3 tents the farm life the natural blend of enjoying the exciting world we have yet living within nature also …. The broad plan mine each girl then expresses herself in her own areas and home …..

But can I not fall back into the trap of living for Debbie , what happened last year , well she was unhappy thinking that the 3 tents would not allow her to feel love ….. did she really think out the possilblities of the 3 tents what does she have to compare it to ,, has she seen people who by choice … choose to make it work .. something new work ….? She has seen the 1 on 1 , and the un workability of it , that is natural to think in terms of what you have grown up with and since, the struggle of the of the 1 on 1 is natural the trying of all the books the ideas of professionals without real solutions event in our real life , maybe on TV they show happiness but no one is living that FAIRY TALE in our world ,,,,,

The 3 tents neeed work ? then why not work at the 1 on1 ? because of the deepest inner human DYNAMICS are not respected in the 1 on 1 , and they are repected in the poly ,,,, ooooh that word , the pord poly has an PROGRAMED response in many , negative programmed response , where the idea of 3 tents is so new , the use of the words have yet not developed that instant , programmed response , the connections of a life time of programming does not taint the idea of 3 tents …….. but three tents is long to write …..

Debbie has said she would have to be empty , it sounded like she was planning to live a life without happiness or sunshine , with out love for herself others or me ….. and that well that my inner cave man could not allow ….. but

Why can she not enjoy to feel the sex of me and cummm and then also enjoy seeing her friend enjoy the sex with me ….. but what about me seeing her withother men would that not be fair and equal by the rules of todays screwed up world ,,,, does that respect the inner anmimal reader? Think dumbass think

Do I have to think for you , can you not observe naturae do you not have a eyes and a brain ? what happens to the lion , gorilla etc when the other male is around , and how peaceful can it be when the harem is working fine …. The social life of the happy females free of GREED of Eve ………


Ok the problem of not being able to communicate , for you dumbass if you do like I do and try to write everyday and really try to be honest but in a way ass to TRY TRY TRY not to be blaming but be writing that can be observed for learning …….. but there is also … the use of sally to talk to me about patty ,, or me talking to susam about something I am thinking about psally ,,, in a 1 on 1 …. You talk to your family who has issues with your husband/wife already the twisted advise ,,,,, not like the 3 tensts .. where the choices of the girls is much different …

Again the general concept of land and hones is to be yours dumbshit , now if you are building that from scratch without the emotional influence of an existiting female of importance ,,,,, I worry about that here if deb and I return will she want to put in her two cents .. yes will I feel an inner need to respect those two cents because of my feelings for her …. Yes that is the instinct in a good male to want thappiness for his female ….. she can when I am done have all the freedom to change her piece of my dream ,, and the three can even change the whole vision to a great expent since I know things like decoration of the whole compound is best done by girls ….. again it depends on them wanting wanting to be friends with each other , and when one does not , well freedom of CHOICE . no fights .. controlling ,, just fact , she is not happy I want her to be happy and that means she should find another world ,,,, since mine is not to her liking ….. if I change myself into her , it will all collapse …. I have to have the courage to say I love you respect you .. I will help you find your bliss , it is a big big world …….

Now to sex , that problem of seeing me enjoy another girl with the lust and hunger that I do ……. It is natural … so the idea that I would be fucking Slly in the ass like I do , she has already had an anal orgasism so the continued fucking is intense for her driving her screams head shaking and begging ( I like begging ) and mary comes in and watches my dick , go in and out of sallys ass . like I get to enjoy everytime I am fucking , Mary get to talk to her friend Sally confort her while I do everything my power to to enjoy her DISCOMFORT …. MARY CAN WATCH AS I REMOVE MY HARD DICK AND RE INSERT IT INTO THAT sensitve ass .to her that gasp that moan of sensitivity ……… over and over slipping my cock from ass to pussy ……. To drive my cock even deeper by angles of pentration ….. to sinking in deep reaching around and rufffly rubbing her expsoxed clit while screams squirms in SENSATIONS and then my lust to bite . kicks in …… and I chew on sallys neck …

My deb over the last year has grown to be able to be herself , she has grown to viable start up companies , her level of self determination is immense .. so if we do get back together and if things are not right for her inner self she can dreate her new world ………. Now cheating lieing that would hurt that would be the hidden male animal that my lion would want to fight … but her choice to leave would equal a female animal leaving to forge who just does not return …. Nature

I am going need to completet the meeting of new girl the street dating . so that I can write about the events so that you dumbass can feel the feelings that you know you already kinda feel …. If it isn uncomfortable I want her happiness so I will be happy in her choice to leave .. all I want is her happiness ….. now I can not date in terms of how it will make Debbie feel because Debbie is already in my life ,, I must act as if she is not there … in that way I can be me . and evolve my styles , will of course it is natural to think about people who are important to ,,,

Now what will my Debbie focus on ……….. our focus is so important … I am focused here on what Debbie may feel , but my focus is on her freedom of choice , so I can have my freedom of choice …… if ihave a life she wants she will stay if not she will leave and find her happiness what is the result I want from changing my life to fit her ,, well is to make her happy . can you young master see the facts about happiness and the cave man

No idle hands today , no rain ….. I was thinking back to a girl who was into my idea last year though was also very controlling of other women dom of women , and when I was thinking about that back then I gnored it , but it was on my mind .. see I must pick girls based on me , but I have to hope the girls get along ,, and why would I pick a girl who was not into that concept , a friendly girl who was into other friendly girls … I must pick well at the beginning not just pick a girl based on my lust for her then be stuck with a girl who can not get along with others because of a controlling nature ….. but for a girl to have a helpful directyful nature lets say like my Debbbie has had with her friend as they have been building their company ,, that teaching nuturuing nature is different that dominating and controlling …… ohh what fun this will be …. What will be my focus on the expected problems or the possible goods , yet be opne and honest enough to my first instinct , my intutions .. to listen to that smart inner voice not just shut my own gut feeling because I so fucking horny ok that is my thought for the pm ,,, hey not even the sex fansty for the day …..or did I write one earlier hmmmm I forget …. Later world

Saturday, July 21, 2007

dildoes and wax

Dildoe and wax

Hmmm I was thinking how should I write ,,,, then I thought I try to be honest about my world and how I see it ( not how you see it but how I see it ,, I ain’t you ) I want that thru my guts to write that the reader gets entertained but slso my gain something so how about I try like a daily blog ,, bits and pieces of everything from the fanasty which drives that days masturbation , ot desriptions of actuall like I have done in the past ,, and then the comparisons of events and DNA ideas . because dumbass you gotta be honest with yourself ….. and the more honest I am the more honest you maybe be with yourself reader …… maybe maybe not ….. either way I really cannot embarrass myself more than I already have done over the last few years already ….. but atleast I tried what the fuck have you done dipshit anything TRULY ? ALTERNATIVE

One thing I s ia m alone with 2 of my boys and I think again about the compound the 3 tents and the dynamics of having multiple moms instead of forcing 1 alone parent to be the 24/7 … the nature of our idiot ideas to force 1 alone sepreate from the tribe …. I depend on you to think for yourself to have already an understanding of the complexity of my ideas from past blogs ….

Now to jackin off today ,,, it is something we males all do if we do not have pussy around ,, and it is fueled by fanasty …. What was one of mine I say one because fuck it is noon and I have cumm twice … and it was thinking that after my bedroom changes the new head board I should build myself …. And build it for restraint .. to hold herlegs spread her on her back and while fucking her ass with a dildoe I was waiting for the wax in the candle to build so I could do another , pour over her clit and pussy , see in the fansty I had already done that once and done an ice cooling ….. dreams are the map to realitys … choice …. Freedom of choice the subbie does what she does by choice ….. and finding a master who will enjoy the activity … well most males gave up get drunk and watch TV …… and leave fansty in fansty never really building anything …..

I have months till I m ready to go on the street and meet girls , talk with many girls ,, and keep my lust in check to insure that I do not just become weak ( was loving Debbie weakness , yes if I allowed myself to not be myself which I did ) it is not natural for a male to be alone that is why for millions of years he was not and he had more than 1 ……….. 1 on 1 is a contrieved trap that served to keep mankind confused upset and thus conquered or more easly controlled my church and governments ……. Divide and conquer

The secret tha video that book the idea we can have what we want , and somethings I dream about I do not want I like hearing a female feeeeel , but I do not like giving real pain ,,, who am I to judge pain or excitement for a girl ,,, I will be judged by if she comes back for more , right? And if I am not scared to lose 1 I will experiment knowing I will meet other girls .. how many times do I have to remeind myself about these things well iguess a hole lot because I am doing it … the secret …… that day to day inner war of self doubts , that coupled by experiences refines your true wants …. Dream some get a taste of it then decide if it is truly for you …. Simple whe are allowed to change our world ,, in fact expected we are expected to change our world ,,,, the thing like Abrahan-hicks talks about ….

So I was thinking I could make a small give away book a tiny taste of the twisted instinct series to pass out at family values while I do my ballons and also hand out my business card that .. card where I intro myself and kidda ask for coffe and LETS TALK ….. I do not want to date off the web but be natural …. Stress

Wow this changing of fonts reminds me of the first book …. The paim of missing someone you love ,,,, is real , the hope they will find happiness that is real also , I think about all other girls I had known and still know and every time I see them I honestly hope they are having fun finding that dream they wanted , but the days when I am single and I see them happy it hurts , well what should I do , just , sit and jack off … or get out there and really meet other human … who am I to deny any woman the chance to neet any man , even if that man is me! Do you get that idea

The fairy tale happy kiss in a movie something we all want so much some dream we keep seeing even experiencing form time to time ,,,, but the fights that evolve from that are they worth the kiss , can it not be that were meant to live in another form not that kiss on TV or story but another kiss ,, is there only one happiness and how did that evolve , this dream kiss .. and how cumm since we all have those dream kisses in the beginning the slowly fade away … into madness … look at your own life again and again …. Look into the facts .

Coming home to a loney house no smiles .. no girl it is this fear , which traped the man I met yesterday as he said , it would be no different with any other woman so I just DEAL ….. what a way to live , but they he is you young master … he is everyone … so if your FOCUS is on the loneliness instead of your actions to change te law of attraction you will get what yu focus on ………… so focus on a solution not on reapeating the failures ….. accepting the failures because of temp fears ,, which will change as you change ……… how to change how about meet someone … how , how about just going up to any girl not just super models and talk …. But it does suck when you had a really cute female … but strange how the inner person is what really makes the outer person pretty

The minutes the hours of second guessing , every heard idle hands are the devels workshop …… yo dumbfuck get your mind on something else while time passes and is right for you to do something that pertains to the issue at hand …….. pussy ,, the friendship will grow after the pussy time is complete , that is what after glow is all about ….. and with 3 over time , in time …. Plenty of social interactions …. Idle hands . like right now it is raining so I am stuck we were on the road to home depot when it just started comeing down so hard that get lumber would have been stupid I gotta finish framing in a trailer for Debbie ……. The boys and I working daddy and son time … not letting my hands be idle ,.. doing a good service ,,, service the highest purpose …. Creating good magic … trusting the law of attraction is real and that I will find a life without MADDNESS ….. but over and over I gotta realize it will not happen by living a life that is built on expecting and accepting madness as natural , if it is so natural in that world then why are people so unhappy and rersist it ? hide in beer? Why does it not work for them just look around and wonder what if everyone would write honestly about all the shit they think what would I know about the truth about our reality ….? Do you young master have the guts to write on aweb site every thought and then lett every girl read your every thought ? do you got that guts ?

Paperair planes , shrek , and a rainy afternoon no idelness , sure I find the fairy tale in almost the [programming my kids see ,,, that is why the resistance to my ideas I even feel … but if I do not fulfill my ideas who will , like I talk so much I must do or else I leave such a difficult task to think outside the box to my kids to over cummm is DAD not the one who should blaze the trail …. Or just repeat the shit of the past …. What if what if what if …… hurting my deb well that has already happened , but the pain when compared to ahppiness she should be some what happy when she looks at the things she learned about the changes in her , her art , her courage , her 2 new companies ,,,,,,,, I wonder if she will let her self slip back wards , say to herself it never happened and I can not do it alone ,.. it worries me but am I resposnisible for more than I can honestly be responsible for , to help to points where it destroys me?

Is that expected from life from love then she should help me to a level and in the way I need …. Nut I do not ask that I ask her to be happy . she is female , all we want is girls to be ahppy …… the 3 tents and a camel .. the idea must be tried in my way ,,, not the shit I read about in the BDSM world but the TRIBAL ideas …. Anyone doo that fire the gird thing 71707? She is all about returning to tribal ideas ? ….. well I should start to plan that business card but then again I should notbecause I have to live single in a rented room for amonth so an important friend can have time and peace to work at establishing her own life ………

But why should I wait ….. huh , how many loser guys land good looking girls just for some fun , because they … atleast talk to them …. What is it the bait issue , that I do not have my home , my bait …. The three tents in reality is a biat and a statement …. Ohh back to shrek when that is over the rain stopped and go get wood … idel hands ? reality I know this been here before I know everyone feels this way .. as change sinks in .

When I saw her face ….. the end of shrek a song about love , I will never leave her ,,,, OK every marriage every body thinks that and where and what happens , do I want that over and over for these little boys and daughter of mine ? do you want it for yours? Fairy tale basing everything on a fairy tale … it just seems crazy much more crazy than sailing off the edge of a flat world based upon the observations of nature …… I guess I will talk to girls one at a time and this time I should become aware sure my biggest fan may in reality be a devils advocate , so often people can talk talk talk say they are helping but are they ? have I not encounted this im my past am I to stupid to learn , from touching the hot stove , I rail a junkie for being stupid should I not see the moat in my own eye? ….. the trigger hypnotic trigger a p[erson can live their entire life with out realy waking up …….. the hypnotic trigger of the male I LOVE YOU SLAVE is the words I love you the guilt of not requiting when I fact he does want to ……… greed of ADAM

Now this I have heard before so I have worry ( remember that worry fixes nothing it is justy focus on a negative out come ) when girls said in the past if you have more than one girl I get more than one man … I can remember writing about how un- instinctual that is and if she wants that well that is fine she does not resprent the 3 out of 100 girls or 1000 whatever she is not c orrect she does not grasp or want to grasp the core idea she wants it to be her way ……….. more of her way ….. I gues just study this theme ,,, the theme of EVE .

Friday, July 20, 2007

because i am a pussy hound

Do what others say
Oh what fun change is , the twists and turns the second guess , the re hashing of events the comparison to a .. a … possible future hye in the poly would I have had one of her three sisters to talk to if I found myself unable to talk to her? Hmmmm dynamics ?
I was asked “ why did you ask for a one on one ? ” why did I respond to the events that were taking place at that time … why was she so emotional and why would her smile her happiness effect me …. If I were so committed to polygamy ? maybe because it was still so very much a theory in my mind and honestly after the events of the close to last year I have had the time and experience to form stronger .. intentions .

Why would I do what I have done this week , which destroyed for some other people their dreams , hey I left in peace so that everyone could have to continue their dreams in their own schedule .

Young master you can never hope to please everyone and in trying are you living your life ? well yes because the happiness of others is your life , service is the highest calling . Yet doing it from the position of being true to yourself is also very imporatnat just to serve some one else yet destroy your self is foolish since in time you will be destroyed and no onger able to serve anyone ……. Was my last relationship destroying me ? NO …. And when it hinted over And over that it might head that way well I did change my world .

I am alone in my house … our house my good girl Debbie lives here she is here even though she is out of town ,,,,, her memory is everywhere . and I know I will be ALONE .. being alone is scary not desirable ….. you do not fight and struggle to be alone no you struggle to build relationahips … so knowing heading toward aloneness is unnatural it seems crazy . staying in the same old is safer.

Dipshit have you ever thought this yourself ? how about the girls of the world you will have to meet to build a poly a 3 tent life .. how about them have they ever felt things like this ? otday I talked with 2 women and both are in relationships both know me and my ideas , and both understand that I have tried once more but …….. and then they admit they themselves are stuck with who they are with , they are confused by my ideas scared by them but after they years of frustration they are almost willing to explore anything for them selves and the hope their children will have different opportunities .

We are all a bit screwed up ………..

I know now that I should not have done anything before getting the 3 tents ,,, well that is 20/20 hindsight , it is the learnsing from my experience young master that you can take to the bank ,,, use it to be prepared for the emotional roller coaster you will ride …. Your simple slip back into your safe comfortable past will hurt that girl you find so ….. so ….. well so almost perfect …. With out the 3 tents without reality staring her in the face with out you talking to other girls ,, the 1 on 1 dynamic will be still lurking in you 2’s world . and the 1 on 1 dynamic is subtle

I have to think for myself why did I think and believe one way yet still respect my pledge to one on one …. She had asked a few times to end it now if I were not commited …. I was commited to … to ….. experiencing ? to trying ( trying is consentrating on the failure side of positive thinking ) SO COOL EVERYONE IS INTO THE SECRET . beat myself up mentally what will that do … well to atleast think out loud well atleast in that I can feel like I may show to some one else that someone else … is thinking like them the same common themes . when I stopped writing what was I doing?

I submitted , put the relationship in her hands in fact I laid on the bed with her a few days later almost suicidial … kinda with that defeat … trying to capture that thought like I was 20 something again the hope I could live a fairy tale like my dad ……. I am not my dad and we do not share the exact same shoes the same life events and hurdles . and in the end after a few small problems and 1 other almost break up just in those 2 months well …. I stopped writing to make it all better , it was not . subtle dynamics that even other females when they think about it can realize yet not embrace my solution with out eveidence that my solutions is workable …

I will have to go real slow into relationships to make sure the girls are one with my ideas not bucking my theory yet , before they come with me they are already able themselves to write about their own life in terms of my ideas ……….. if I get that then I will get what …. They want and I want and then have the experience of living the new set of adventure problems because problems will come up but they will be new ….. and in a newer context with new dynamics and new support systems … the sisterhood . 3 that can see with out ego or self blame their own EVE and for me to also see my shy ADAM who can be controlled so easy by a smile or a tear
THIS WILL BE VERY HARD BECAUSE I AM A PUSSY HOUND

thru a males brain

Thru a males brain

Young master how can you really think thru the world of shared experience like another person , ever done that exercise where everyone in a class looks at an object then the object is taken away and each person has to write a description of the object and what happens you end up with 30 different descriptions of the same object . yo dipshit you filter the world thru male brain and body , thru male DNA . Even in books like Mars and Venus that is stated in hopes that the female may finally hear! It ! but hey remember the author of that book series and his videos well he also ended up divorced . communication I am lucky to be able to read my old blogs in book form now a days ……… wow was I ever communicating …sure I was talking to YOU writing in an abstract way to touch the reader I hoped ( my kids in reality both the males and females ) but it spoke of my male experiences thought comparisions to my daily life …….

I talked about the stress of my feelings to provide that smile that safety , that even in cave man days our DNA forefather cared about the happiness safety of his female and children enough to die fighting to protect them or feed them …..
Wow doing what I am doing , giving up a REALLY GREAT GIRL , the fun we have had and would have had ,, YES WE would have had many more happy days than bad days to come ,, sure , but a the cost of me SUPPLICATING …. The return of MADDNESS , was a guarantee the intensity of that madness would have increased over time if I were to do any thing other than supplicate ,,,,

OOOPS , I am currently doing something other than supplicating now and . wow is she unhappy is my family unhappy , are my children even mad at me ….. yes yes yes . but I know that at least I AM TRYING to do something to prevent them from living thru the hell I went thru ( my last girl was NOT A HELL , in fact QUITE THE OPPISITE , SHE WAS CLOSE TO HEAVEN ) but to hide my words my feeling just to be GREEDY …….. THE GREED OF ADAM was to try to make just one girl happy ! see in that story there was only 1 and 1 , not the thruth of our history ,,, the real evolving of us the GARDEN OF EDEN IS A ….. fairy tale story book . TO train people about a GOD . but reality is that we were group animals ,, HAREM animals .,… and the female IF BY choice .. choice choice CHOICE . lives in a group then the POLY dynamics changes her reactions to the groupa and the male ……. And that thing called …. SUPPLICATION.

Why DO YOU SUPPLICATE ,, BECAUSE you love her , because you want the family to stay stable …….. to get everyone thru school and safey into the world with the best chance possible ,, so I send my children off into a world where I know the fact is they will have 80 percent chance of serious relationship problems ,, PROBLEMS THAT WILL breed drug addicti depression and the tortue of my grand children , the mental torture of my grand children living in broken familys with angry doped drunk stressed LONELY parents ,,,, I send the kids I love out to that GUARENTTEED future …….. 60 percent divorce rate getting higher and 20 percent fighting ,, fighting it out in madness for the sake of the kids like good responsible people ..

Why does a man have to let it build till he will finally risk the fight to express his feeling ……… does a womwn really care WHY? Have I not already written time and time again about my own inner battles and feelings the difficulty about talking to a girl who , is a SUBMISSIVE , that girl who is supposed to be the dream girl ?

And in the end I returned even more strongely to the DNA the animal nature the POLY , the subltle subconscious dynamics of the HUMAN ANIMAL ……….. throw a rock in the air young master look at evidence trails dipshit …….. yes I know you love her but do not be scared to atleast think to yourself once and a while ……… and yes your inner caveman that true good man your male instinct will be hurt when if ,, if ,,, someday you walk away and she is hurt ,,,, her pain is much more important , becsue you caused it , that means you failed … and we hate to fail , better to beg than to fail ? all I ask , is for you to be true to yourself and think alone with out pressure … 80percent or ? is there an alterantive ,, the current systems the books the programs have given us this 80 percent failure so why trust that … 9 REMEMBER THEY ARE MAKING MONEY FROM YOU 9 no honestly they do want a better world also we all do , it is just the are little the smart people of history and I am Christopher Columbus ,,, I am a lone idiot sailing off the edge of the flat earth ,,,,, their way the smart people’s way is the only way even if the evidence is to the contray
Christopher Columbus built his theories based on the obvservations he studied in naute ….. hmmmmm interesting.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Level of severity ( iam back Philip Van der Mude )

Level of SEVERITY ( I am back )

Interesting how people judge things by levels , justifying actions on levels , sure that has merit to take into account the level of a thing but the under lieing theme , is what I write about ,, the FACT of the SUBTLE actions that our culturilation has allowed us to accept as normal and good when in fact ,,, you are unhappy and it is because of accepting levels of severity ….

Maddness is one ,,, if you young master become MAD if insanity madness is infecting your daily experience dipshit ,, maybe not even daily but it’s presence is present and it will … will eventually return .. like the rock you threw up into the air , the odds are ,, the evidence trail is ,, that the the will do what? Huh dipshit what will the rock do … well the evidence trail when it comes to relationships and one or the other becoming mad ……… is that the MADDNESS haS infected you 2 and it will return time and time again often in increasing severity ( but because you have been trained to accept level ,, levels you will ignore it ) like the rock falling back to earth the MADNNESS will continue ……. YOUR CHOICE DUMBASS! Are you the master of your future or just do WHAT EVERYONE ELSE EXPECTS ,, be NORMAL yet dress and get tattoos or listen to music to prove you are ALTERNATIVE … bullshit

Next is a topic that is of the GREED OF EVE ….. women like you to DIS the moms of your kids so they can feel that you love them more than the ex …. They in fact set up subtle what should I say … subtle battles …. When no battle was really needed … the fact is young master you love your kids , and when the mom of your kids is happy that means your kids are happy so you ,,, deep inside you that cave man , that family man , he only wants the best for his DNA legacy ,, well you want your ex to be happy NO MORE MADNNESS , because it will effect your kids … but your current EVE wants to rbe reassured about your love for her ,, in a way she can understand ,,, in FEMALE SPEAK …. That old problem of male speak and female speak ,,,,,, you dumbass get trapped in the middle trying your best to at most just make peace with your ex for the benift of the kids ,, she is your ex , the madness infected that relationship and now that love is past .. past …. Nor forgotten the hopes that were past are past , the madness was such that you had the gutts to no longer ignore and you moved on …… but being trapped in having to have a piece of you that still respcts the mom of your children to not totally destroy that vision , which if done will destroy any chance of having CIVIL relationship with that EX a, and that will in the end ……….. END the contact with the children if not atleast harm them because of the sublte subconcsiouos stress …….. but this year I have been blessed to meet so many people from broken familys whose father abandoned them , even later when the child was an adult the fathers never came to them to make up to become , fathers , and the common thread , it seems is this that greed of EVE , the women in the fathers lives whose LEVEL OF SERVERITY was tolerated to such a point at ot be …. Welllll POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY remember twisted instinct first page that old phrase ……… father who let themselves become so pussy whipped

How does it happen alittle at a time …… in the MADDNESS , maybe that male that good male let himself respond become reactive …. To sublte GUITL tools the divide and conquer of guilt pharases ….. LIKE I LOVE YOU ……….. the fairy tale , if she loved me she would understand that if I had to express myself in XY or Z way .. it is because I had to … yes I have a MOAT in my eye , I have a BAD ! stil she had the choice to listen and istead fought MADDNESS and then maybe re-directed ……. She cryed , that thing we hate to seee we love the girls in our life other wise they would not be there ,, that CAVE MAN .. wants to see her smile …… that is wy I stopped writing back in april ………. But the madness came back .. and I said if that happens on your part or mine it does not matter to me which does it ,,, if I have MADDNESS in my world I will change my world …

I live on a postcard my home is visible on some postcards used to show how prestine and beautiful florida is , I have a national park as a front yard the Indian river and a state park as a back yard the street is a NATIONAL scenic drive never can it be changed …….. I put my house up for sale ,,,,,, I need to build the 3 tents and a camel …….. Knowledge is one the but wisdom is another and wisdom comes only thru adventure ,, thru DOING ……… how can I really have these words this book knowledge here to help my children without the wisdom as lonf chronicled written down …….. the real alternative .. and my 1 postcard home is not 3 tents and a camel ………

Ohh off subject ……. To an EVE or 3 even a co worker ,, let me start there , you and the other co workers by CHOICE work at XYZ now the idea of taking home some office supplys , pens tape etc …. Is ACCPTED …. But then they were all talking about EXTREME people who were doing damage to the whole company ,, thru greed … yet ,, they all accepted a small level of greed in stealing pens ,, now me as an ex company owner I had had put into my budget always a level of employee thieft and on occasion would discus with every one that yes you can get free bait but up to a limit …. LEVEL OF SEVERITY … and if a person would become MAD that I would bring up the topic ! the madness entered my world well I would change my world .. hint get that madness out of my world… you would to correct dipshit !

Now the greed of EVE when it comes to your kids your ex wives etc .. well there can be levels of severity in its display ,, HTAT SUBTLE acceptance that tolerance level like being tomerant of beer no longer getting a buzz from 1 or 2 but needing 6 to catch that buzz …. It is not important the LEVEL OF SEVERITY sometimes as much as discussing the idea the concepts the bassis ………. BUT YOUNG MASTER , watch for the re actions , the exzpression of expected control and POWER ( power corrupts absolute power ….), the expectations that you will re act like every one else …. ARE YOU DIPSHIT LIKE EVERYONE else or a young master ?