Jackin off

Jackin off

Young master , oooh how many times have I talked about things where there was no pride boost for myself ,,, a whole fucking bunch …. It is part and parcel of the resisit / persisit equation ….. here is some complexity again sex sex sex …. I have sex daily …. Like yesterday it is clear her presenting herself as my puppy , was for my benefit ..thankyou honey ,,, but

But , sex is a syneneregy …. I like to think she likes it also … I hate to write openly because like speaking opnely I may say something , that will cause her to …. Retaliate to defend herself …. Thus creating in me that state where I feel pain that I caused … and causing her pain is non congrous ,,, like in sex it has to be something she is enjoying also or else I lose my desire …FAST

NOW , our every day sex at 8 am , has been like everyday ,,, but afternoon or night there has been noe for over amonth . the last time we played was the time when it was over she said … that her didloes were uncomfortable that she needed to experiement with the new materials ….. my mind heard , she was unhappy so the activity sub conccsiuosly ended . onver done that is taken out of the mix …. And so there was no more mix … no more sex at night since .

Ohh this is supoosed to be about me stroking my dick …. Embarrassing myself for the benefit of readers so ,, that I may have a chance to keep readers so that I feel that am touching the minds of people … so that in hopes they will see their own lives and loves in a different light , there by hoping that they can change their won cycle of PAIN . because …….. your fairy tale will end … it always does … 99 percent of dating relationship will end up in PAIN ,,,, and 80 percnt of happy marriages all that Fairy tale excitement ends up in pain and lonelyness .

So back to me stroking my dick … while she is out doing her thing …… GREAT I am so happy she is happy ! over and over that is my biggest goal is her HAPPINESS … I worry that if bring up thpoc of me jackin off she will feel guilty ,,, in her guilt tshe will want to talk ,,, I am male I can not TALK with a female … it is impossible , I feel her discomfort and my instinct kicks in and I get confused . IMPOSSIBLE IMPOSSIBLE ….. how many times do I have to fail at talking with my signifacant others of my life .. do I have do … before the world will aloow me to be ME!

There is enough evidence even in the writings of the books that females use to promote their concepts of soul mate and fairy tale love , to show that MALE does not talk . or at least talk like a female , we use different sentence structure ,,, girls are process thinkers men count buffulo ( I have not brought up this for like a year ….. buffalo speak )

OK last night ,, we did not watch a movie ,, a habit pattern had changed , we were in that RE – CONNECTING stage ,,, in fact earlier that day she presented her lower lip for my bite … that stimulation of endorphines …. That she SEEMED to enjoy so much in the being that I have not done in over a month ….. I … ALL …. Amles respond like the Gorilla to the openess of the female to touch … when she does not want touch she does not come over to the male gorilla …. All good men respeind to GIRLS MAKING THE FIRST MOVE ,, in reality .. at the animal level yuou girls actually start the sex …

Loook , I am male , my blodd is flooded with sex hormones every 45 minutes 24 hours a day ,,, there is no monthly cycle I have an hourly cycle ,,, why has nature done that … so that I would be ready to mate my wives when there are READY !!!!! nothing to do with my desire , my desire is constant …. No it is not rape ever it is the female subconscuios animal desire to be pentrated , and to be penetrated she has to be submsissive . to allow me to force my dick in her .

But human have allowed PROGRAMING and social expecetations to fuck up this .

Now I am so happy Deb is understanding and exploring the mystery of the Tao of meta pyshcihs ..etc …. Cool and I doninthat people often become un balenced when it comes to the BODY, MIND , SPIRIT …. That is to be expected often during a learning curve some one must work more on a weaker aspect to then gain balance SOME DAY … but often spirituality becomes like a DRUG … evidence is how , a good christian program can become the new addiction for the Drug addict …. Better to be addicted to Jesus that Crack …. Cool ….. so to is with spiritualism ,,,, with new age , which is in reali8ty older religons that Christainity by t1000’s of years …..but the balance can be gone for a while ..

BDSM ,, the endorphine rush ,, is a way of controling the need to escape life ,,, the BDSM pain is a powerful drug . plus sexual pleasure again it can be un balenced . but for me fun since I admit to being MALE , I have testosrone ruching thru my viens every 45 minutes … I have not allowed my training to alter the natural pattern of the big T. ohhh yes young master ,,,, thought control your body …. You lose erecetile function ( hard – on ) mainly because of your thoughts and expectations …. So I happily engage BDSM to an extent ….. it still needs to be about her happiness .

Ohhh but a good girl does not get off by being tied up …. The confusion of the female … the FAIRY TALE . that causes all the apin …..and that causes you and me to JACK OFF . because there is not sexual partner who is comeing close in signal it is time to have sex
LAST night there was a chance for sex …
But…..
A month ago , I did not eat her pussy even though I wanted to because I did not really KNOW what she wated , our friendship and spiritual bonding is unbalencing us ..yet the stress of sepration this last weeekend brough us back to bed last night ,, THE AFTER FIGHT SEX … the baisis of the relationship is SEXUAL !!!
Again some time back then the comment on how the dildoes did nto feel good ……
The time …… the days gone by where we once were fucking everyday ,,, afternoons etc .. we had gone days … no blame .. I do not want to get into a discusion about blame ….. that will never ever work that is RESISTING .

Now 3 girls ……. When they want each in their own time … I am there … BUT 3 girls ….

Ahhhhhhhhh ! ,,,, S P E C I A L ….. the Z____+ is in the want to be special , to be a 1 …. To be separate ! …. Ahhhh now think about the illusion of being seperated from GOD or the Tao … it is illusion of course , but it is in that seperation that being a 1 that all the problems are formed … how human kind can be so Evil to itself …. Why because of the feeling that we are NOT all one ….. but is you are also wanting to be special … well is that not wanting to be 1 …. Not part of the all ….. it is being 2 faced …. Special

I talk about the good man as being family oriented , it is truth , men when they lose their feeling that they are the providiors that they have no REASON to live … thiey RETIRE live on average 18 months .

Understand this I like her am going thru spiritual leanring hell that is how we met because of this writing I do …. But spiritual learning is something I have been doing while still living since I was 20 …. I did not go the way of the story of the seeker in MR.. I DON’T KNOW as on the pages of www.instinctualism.org …. I know that I reflect the desire of the female in my life I love her and want what she wants for herself …. So like yesterday when she says for me to hurry up because her leg is hurting her ,,, I know that she did not want the sex .. it was for my beneift … that LEARNING WILL fuck with US …. I can ot hurt her or use her my life as Gorilla is to develop a safe place for her and hooe she stickes around and comes to me for sex …. The Gorilla does not really rape ,, in the animals yes the illusion of forced sex maybe observed but it is liken to BDSM where the female is safe sane CONSENTUAL it is her want to be submissive

Complex ideas dumbass ,, the ideas I have written everyday are here nothing new is written today !

Think abou the girl at the party as written in TWISTED INSTINCT and the man from the fishing pier ,,,, the girl at the party at seeing another female wearing the same dress before entering the party … wants to go home and change her dress , how she will talk with her friends to make sure she is dress differently , so that she is not wearing the same thing as some one else …… being SPECIAL be sperated being 1 ……. Alone ………. The male a BLOOD stained t-shirt looks like a BLOOD stained T-shirt … we are cool . think dipshit … talkinw willnot work our brains are wired differently the advise of the marrage and relationship counselor does not work because it is the old PROBLEM from 1000 bc the same problems of the ancient Taosit sage ….. it does not respect the NAUTRE of instinct. Poly relationshipw ill cause her stress unless she is so ,,, anixuos to have peace herself that it becomes her own PASSION to effect change . becaue her Z_____+ her desire to be separate form the Tao ….. is it POWER ?

Is it the blood stained t-shirt male ? honestly ,,, was it the king who the females FLOCK to to become thw ife of the RICH AND POWERFUl ,, the underlying the unseen and UN AD MITTED . truths.