Girls night out

Girls night out

Young Master , admnit the feelings ,, realize the gorilla in you ,,,, resist it it will persisit grow and fester , it will become the worm that eats your mind and spirit as described by that ancient sages , it was a good description . But what you accept you can draw power from ? you can learn from ? adapt to ? accept……..!

Building plams based on the INSTINCT of the nature of your truest deepest feelings ,,, that DNA part of you that brought you and the girl together in the first place , to deny the PROTECTIVE NAUTRE OF HAREM , especially when you are limited UNANATURALLY to one girl 1.

Leaves you feeling ,,,, NON Congroius ….

She is going Dancing …… what does DANCING mean to you the male ,,,, I am not talking to a METRO male who has warped his instincts to fit the new Society , the male I hear females say they do not like because he is to permissive and submissive that he is not male …….
OOOOOOH the confusions … can you feel your life young master .

Now how would it be different if you were not some how forced to feel that you were trappped in depending on just one woman …… this is the sublte CONTROL AND COERCION TRAP OF THIS 1 on 1 world .. I try so hard to discuss in my own wierd way .. where I have no concrete answer only theroy based on alternatives of nature

Nature that example of the Taosit Sage …… so what should I do ,,, RUN RUN QUICK hide , go get a beer since I hurt I feel pain ….. see this blog has sparked real talk between Deb and I so , I am feeling her pain ,,, and my male does not like the idea that I am causing her confusion or pain ,, that is not the intent of me ,,, does a father want to KNOWNLY cause his children pain ? even more the male is with the females in his life ……

But DANCING is …. It is …. The vent where you ORGINALLY created the seuxall bonds with your female ,, so that instinct rushes right in when the idea of her Girls night out comes up ….

So Deb was talking about how she is in a form of hell waiting on the 3 tents and a camel since it is not here and the evnet of meeting other women can not happen in this single home ,,, no long term security can be provided by for other women .. so I am feeling like a LIAR IF I were to Poly Date while having this knowing that I am moving up to NORTH CAROLINA .

So what to do , go hide or see this as learning the real events of life ,,,,,, I have to expose myself my ideals to the world to be true about what I am … in starting a Tao group now I am getting the experience I will use later ….

Now the stress I am causing Deb….. boy does that fuck with my brain does that cuase and EXPANSION of my nueral net my brain pathways … the pain of growth . all I want is her happinss … but it must be achieved in a way that will not just collaspe like very other relationship …. So I commit to my path …. I feel bad she is unhappy , yet she is happy because my openeness has caused her to open herself ….. hmmmmmmm it is not easy . if things are so good why do I feel so bad , well I do not feel except in the idea that I am causing her stress …..

The ULTIMATE , evidence of Co dependance is my stress about her stress ….but I have always said that co D was the truth about human nature ,,,, I ,, every male who cares about family does get his pride form the heatlh and welfare of his family …. The PURPOSE for living …. I am not HEDONISTIC …. Once I have made the tent circle … I am family-ist .

Even with all the self explorations etc …. When stressed the human reverts back to past behavior patterns if you have no other patterns secured or when you are feeling trapped by reality ….. see understanding thngs like Tao is great but they are not real in the reality we do live … you live in a world where maintaining life is an instinct of the body ,,, the mind body spirit …… some people get so ,, spiritiual that they do not live in their body in the pyshical world it seems . that is not me ,,, I am into find how to live balenced.

Yesterday I got feeling trapped …. The owrds came out of Deb that got me …. Feeling … confused ….. I talked about male confusion ,, with the idea of her freedom yes , fact yet my animal nature when it comes to other males ….. my confusion in not hearing her include me in her plans …. Ok… so when I voice my feelings she comes back saying she has feelings ….. and thoughts if she is supposed not feel jeaoulsy about the 2 other women what right do I have to feelings jeoulous about her going out dancing ….. ahhhh the TRAP ….. yet her try to understand also …. Why the difference what seems like UNFAIR .

Hmmmmm my ideas ….. girls do not beg in the dating world they are the PURSUED …. It is the male who SUPLICATES ….. the Torentino movie last nihgt showed expample of this while listening to the girls the manipulations of the girls ……….. next of course is my study of dating and the stats their and the UNCONCSOUIS mind warp that dating is on both sides … but I does depend on the MAN .. a bad boy … or good man ….

Well yesterday ,, after feeling like I was going back down the path of trap ….yet once again ,,, I choose to end the paim with beeer … atleast I understood what I was doing ,, but it opened the door to realizing how …hopeless being in the trap can feel and ,,, how poor the out look is … because after being with me …. Living with me …. For a year is not enough to make changes what hope is there ? I then gotta realize if I can MENTALLY GET FUCKED UP well so can she … the old patterens are strong . great to be thinking this now , but in the pain … of wanting her ahppiness ,, wanting to be understood ,,, and yet being expected to understand her feelings ,,,, ? first ? and being commited …an not in the INSTINCT position of having 3 tents …. I got lost in in hopeless … like I did last May or Aprill …. That JUST CHUCK IT feeling ……

Like she describes ,,, the park closing when she is not looking …… she is having a good time and the company closes without notice …. Hmmmmm . well more likely than not this will not realy happen the lights will flash signally the park is closing ….but for me the feeling of hopelessness especially with the addition of the drug of beer , got feeling like a shot to the head …… was the only logic in this ….. throw the rock of relationship in the air world …. Ohhh in my head see dating is a nightmare of repeating behaivior ….and dissapearing becoming a hermit like the Tao-ist sage of 600Bc….. well that sounds like a shitty way to live when I love pusssy …. Ahhhh protecting myself from the feeling of being trapped …. Of repeating things over and over .

But I must keep Deb happy , that is my instinct . it is the …. Instinct to fight the lions and tigers to face DEATH to protect the family ,,, but I am the lion and tiger in her world that day …….. so what does my instinct make do , I wants to destroy that which is destroying its world , but means destroying itself ….. TRAP of 1 on 1 that ends up with so many males living by drinking . exisisting in a world that is not instinctual ….. in confusion . and the girl says but I will feel jealousy when you are with other females …..

That is why the freedom of choice is there and here and now ……… there is NO GUN forcing her to stay any where DOMINANCE Is not a trap . it is an illusion.a choice . but yesterday will effect us .. effect me …. Each time I realize my real place as the beggar of her pussy , when we do not realize as a couple ….. that . that the Gorilla does not rape but fucks as result of the openness of the female the female communicates ( thru hormone language ) desire then male female interaction takes places ,, that the gorilla is basically protective first … her OWWWEEEIES create states of confusion in him ….. then the choice of the female must come into play … oes whe want to remember the DELICATE balance …… or be the girls in the movie Death proof maniplating the game .. playing the game ,, creating the world they themselves COMPLAIN about . I can only do so much…. one thing I do not want is to bei feeling like I must destroy myeself to insure her happiness ,,,,, but to do that means I must separate myself from her in a way that is seperating .. breaking that instinctual bond of the inner Gorilla ….. atleast I can write about it ,,, I hope you can thnk about your feelings when they come up in you dipshit .. realize what is going on ….