ooops my bad ....... NOT!

Oppps my bad ………..

Wow , I wimped out , and not just once but multiple times about many things and that pissed me off ……….. pissed me off at me ………. I did a NICE GUY thing and then I got mad at her for not doing something .. for not reading my mind …. I was supposed to request . to say … Hye baby …….. do this or hey baby I am going to do this and it will effect us ……….and because when I did not do just that do what it was that I needed . that I deep inside needed to do .. when I suppressed my need what my heart said should have been done or I should do … when I ignored that because o was thinking about her … in the end .. was the end OK Young Master DOM / sub what does it mean what is it supoosed to mean ,, how does it work ? FUCK IF I KNOW , for real fuck if I know … the sexual side is kinda of easy ………. But the whole 24/7 relationship side that can be more of a fine line … an edge of a knife .

Now in D/s the biggest worry of the subbie community is ? what do you think .. are they most often worried about getting bruised to badly ? or asked to provide some sort of service that they would have doing ? well the stats show the biggest worry is the break up of the relationship ……….. encountering a problem great enough to break up the passionate relationship . The biggest worry is losing love losing the person who she depends on to help her to love her the man who builds her ego and self esteem in many ways and helps her grow and or deal with life’s stresses …… losing a good man . So the subbie TRYS she really does try to do the best she can …. Now Pain slut she may want to set up a play scene ……. But real subbie girls want their DOM’s to be happy and STRESS free . WOW sounds like fucking paradise , huh ? young master …….. is this a girl who you would like ? of course you do . ……… as compared to the females I was watching yesterday as I was letting my anger build to a level …. Letting my anger rise up to the surface … to unlock it ……. Ohhhh what is that about …. I was fucked up in the head about some problems I was suppressing some stuff ….. creating a pile of shit inside my mind over time ……… and I was like constipated .. stuck amd … mad at everything …. Edgy pissed off ……… and I needed to be alone and let myself become realy mad …… to risk CONFRONTATION ….. see my girl is good our life is great ,, so many smiles , the finest of kisses and sex and she listens to me , and trys so fucking …… it is like I SHOULD NOT HAVE A PROBLEM …. But I felt a problem …. How unfair of me it is to feel that she is __________ that she was not living up to what I wanted or that she did not care about me ? when she does so much ……….. but still the feeling was there ……… so I needed to get to a level of anger to risk the whole relationship . her biggest fear is that once more she will be alone that another male will judge her unfairly after she has tried so hard ………..judged unfairly after she had tried so hard …. And she wanted only to have CLEAR direction … clear directions … for me to say exactly what I want what will make me happy in each and every aspect of my life … every minute … and she will do it .

But I did not state my wants clearly ………. I watched her not do something important to me ………. Something that she did not know was important … how was she supposed to know to do something if I do not tell her to do it …….. sounds easy enough right ! would I get mad at an employee for not doing something that is his job ………. But wait that shirt was in her general job description …. That is why I was mad .. next the shirt represented competition … it was covered by the signatures of girls I had met at a concert …. The idea that she is jealous does at times get me mad it makes me feel controlled by 1 pussy hence I start thinking about the poly ……… hmmmm think think think sowhen I noticed that shirt dirty on the garage floor …. I picked it up .. as I watched it get covered by shit on the dryer I put it in the washer expecting it to be washed with the next load …….. then I notice it in the basket with DEAD END clothes … clothes that do not get washed clothes headed for the trash or where ……… my memory shirt was in there . hmmmm hence my anger …….. I did not clearly state HONEY wash and hang up this shirt …….. in part becaue well it is a shirt …….. like any shirt ……… why should I have to …. Say wash this shirt . ……… DOM / sub ,,,, I can suppress my own ideas my own feelings to listen to the woman I love …. I want her to be great in my eyes … I do not want to see problems or fight ……. I can allow myself to listen to her logic and take the BLAME ……… should she have known ? to wash that shirt ? it is possible like me that she would do something sub concsiuolsy ? she said NO ………. And so I took the blame for not giving the order ……….. hmmmmm

Beer beer beer ……….. in the last so many how ever months how much beer has been in my fridge ? only the amount we would drink that day or the person who brought it over would drink …….. other than that I think only 1 beer was ever left and well it did get drunk within days . so alcochol is strage for me to have in my house yes I have a whiskey mainly for her under the sink … ok it is almost a medicine ………. But beer in my fridge ……….. so I talked about how I tried to return the beers to the person who left it and they … well they said do what you want with it ……… we got a plan to catch and can not take it back home ……….

THE SHIRT was important to me … a memory I go out of my way to create at every all ay music festival I attend ,,, yes it mainly has female signatures on it …………….. beer my choice to drink at most 1 time a week or less and then only 1 or 2 glasses of beer make alcohol an event ……….. I guess I needed her to KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME with out me having to say it to share my values …. To be intuitive … kinda of like listening to how I want a braclet …. Like the book says be intuitive about your DOM’s wants what is important to him ……….. beer is more important to her a long term part of her life ….. BUT I WAS NOT CLEAR when I said “ what do you think I should do , throw it away or who else whould I give it to ? “ ( did I get to say who else should I give it to ? or did she or her mom come in with their ideas to store the beer for future use ) OOOh I gave the beer to a neighbor who drinks daily instead of following her recommendation of storing 10 bucks worth of something I do not like ………. Like throwing away candy or the last few bites of a ftty food just so I will not OFFEND myself …. Something imporatn to me ……….. but I was wrong to expect her to _____ ?

So in the end after I let my anger rise and I came back and we talked …….. and I let all the little shit get out of the way …. After I felt bad for … expressing my anger thru my writing … subconciuolsy …….. I then got to take take the blame for not giving clear directions ……. I love her ………. Ohhh what did I see when watching those women what did I hear ……

2 women alone half drunk trashing there ex husbands …. Mad at males … but but planning ……. Along comes 1 of the girls new boyfriends a yo9ung male younger than her eldest son one of the women was bragging about earlier .. well when he showed as he arrived of course the tone of the females conversation changed ……. And so he got involved in the girls conversations and then … then …. The ______ the thing ……… “ Remember the WOMAN is always right ….” Is what I heard and knowing him knowing how much we males begg for pussy I saw him swallow his pride to make sure the female he loves would continue to smile ………. It was important for her to hear him agree …… intuitive ? or begging ? love or begging ? and he agreed ……….. what did I do last night when I came to the conclusion in the end that I was wrong that I held all the blame , and what will I do next ?
WOW strange I started this blog to describe to you young master how you can create the problem by not giving clear directions …….. but as I fininsh I find myself getting angry again ……….. I take the blame for my bad …… take the blame like a man . But just like In the Mars and Vensus books says females will not … when a woman finds herself wrong she ….. will cry because she does feel bad of course she hates to do something wrong ,, they really do try to be good …. Especially a subbie she realy realy trys …….. or she re – directs blame ……… something I try to avoid by a statement I use at the beginning of a charged emotional disccuion ………. I state listen to me … do explain away my pain or else I will just end up taking the blame and ………. Well it will not fix anything …….. GETTING an I am sorry that I want form a female ahs been a very elusive thing …………
But in the end ………….. the woman is always right